Dead Children...or Dragons?

If you are the kind of person who really hates children, it might be fun to tell them that if they go under water and breathe in, they'll turn into dragons.  That way, next time you're at the beach, you'll either see a bunch of dead kids or, like, thirty dragons fly out of the water.

According to Science, Salad is Good!

I recently read an article  that stated eating vegitables may prevent cancer.  This is great, because I was always wondering why I don't have cancer, and it must be because of that salad I ate a while ago.

Hooray for Science!  Thank you for knowledge and thank you for the Segway!

The Stinky Onion!

I was just in Chicago for a few days, and it was a lot of fun.  Sadly, within my first 10 minutes of being there, I was a victim of reverse-racism.  A homeless man, or "bum," (not a hobo, hobo's are polite and make jokes.  They don't even want money, they just love train hopping and stabbing) was asking me for money, and upon my refusal to give it to him, he hit me with the old "Oh, I get it.  You just don't wanna give a black man any money."  How'd he know!?!?

I wonder if this works the other way around.  If I am ever being held up by a black man (because we all know it's only black males that hold people up!) then I am gonna say to him "Oh, I get it.  You just wanna steal my money because I'm white.  You're a racist!"

Another homeless man tried to sell me an issue of The Onion (which is a FREE publication) for $2.  But I would only give him one dollar!  Take that you fucking sucker!

PS
Did you know that Chicago means "The Stinky Onion"?  It is taken from the Native American (or "Indian" or "Redskin") phrase "Chi Ca Goo" which translates to The Stinky Onion.

Man, those indians are hilarious!

Hmm...

I was wondering...do Chinese people have as much trouble with forks as we do with chopsticks?

Children Are The Future

I work at a summercamp and am in charge of children ages five to seven. Today a little girl came up to me and told me she lost her tooth. She then proceeded to tell me that she was going to get "one million dollars from the tooth fairy." ...What and idiot!

What to do...

I have blog. I'm not quite sure what to do with it. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks.