Norris

Tonight, like everynight, I was surfing good old www.chucknorris.com, something that any decent person should do regularly. Upon entering the site, you hear Chuck Norris' actual voice say "Hi, this is Chuck Norris, and I'd like to personally welcome you to my official website." To think, he has the nerve to label this a "personal" greeting when it is the same one that everybody who goes to the site gets. I was a little distraught by this and felt the need to send the following e-mail to chucknorris.com:

• Dear Chucknorris.com,
  
  I, like all who regularly surf www.chucknorris.com, am a big fan of Mr. Norris and his constant displays of nobility and heroism. Needless to say, I was more than thrilled to hear the man himself personally welcoming me to his official website upon entering it. Moments later, however, a friend of mine entered the site as well, receiving the same "personal" welcome from Chuck Norris as I did! I was a little put off by this, because a personal welcome should, at the very least, have my name in it. And this generic greeting on the website is far from personal and, worst of all, it makes Chuck Norris a liar, a word that I'd hoped I would never have to associate with such a man.
  
  Is there anyway you can make the website say my name whenever I enter it? Or could you at least shed some light on the situation? Perhaps I am just not seeing it the same way that you are. I already think highly of Chuck Norris, but a few more dissapointments like this one could knock him down a couple of pegs (something of which I dread).
  
  Thank you.
  
  Sincerely,
  Nathan G. Fernald
  Admirer of Chuck Norris since '84

I have not yet received a response, but when I do I will be sure to post it here, so please check back if you are interested in the results of this saga.